FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
About Triggers
Below you will find the answers to the most frequently asked questions about the phenomenon of triggers. We answer why you react the way you do, why someone triggers you, and how you change this automatism into a conscious choice.
I.e. catastrophic forecasting, resorting to threats, kitchen sinking, resort to a personal attack, giving the silent treatment or using generalized labeling.
Once you are completely calm and rational (your rational brain is back online!), you can address the situation responsibly.
- Acknowledge and Own the Reaction (Repair):
Start with a clean apology focused only on your behavior, not the other person's actions. - Do NOT say, "I'm sorry, but you made me angry."
- Use "I" statements: "I apologize for raising my voice. That was unnecessary, and I reacted poorly."
- Process the True Trigger (Resolution): Once the relationship is stable, analyze the trigger:
- What was the true fear or pain behind the anger? Was it fear of disrespect, abandonment, or failure?
- What part of the current situation felt familiar to that old pain?
- Propose a Future Plan:
Communicate a plan to the other party: "I am working on catching my emotional alarms faster. Next time I feel overwhelmed, I will take a 10-minute break before we continue this discussion."
For more information go to the page Triggers.