FAQ

Everyone feels a sting when criticized, because it directly hits the Adapted Child which remembers being judged. Staying professional means processing the criticism from the Adult before the Child takes control.

The Trap: The Other Person's 'Parent' Activates Your 'Child'

When someone delivers criticism (even if it's fair feedback), they are often speaking from their Critical Parent (CP).

• The Trap: You feel accused, you get defensive, you get angry, or you shut down. This is your Adapted Child reacting.
• The Result: Communication becomes emotional, and you miss the factual, useful information within the criticism.

The Professional Solution: The Three R's of the Adult

Use these steps to stay in your Adult Ego State:

• 1. Regroup (The Filter): Take a breath. Ask for clarification or repeat what you heard. This forces the other person to drop their Critical Parent stance and return to a factual Adult state.
• Adult Question: "So, if I understand correctly, the deadline is at risk specifically because of last week's report?"
• 2. Retrieve the Data (The Facts): Ignore the tone and isolate the actionable information. The Adult is interested in data, not drama.
• Adult Question: "What are the specific steps I can take differently next time?"
• 3. Re-Decide and Respond (The Answer): Confirm that you have received the facts and plan an Adult response. You do not need to respond immediately; you can return later.
• Adult Response: "Thank you for that feedback. I will process these points and come back to you tomorrow with an updated plan."

By Regrouping, Retrieving the Data, and planning your Response, you avoid getting pulled into a Psychological Game and maintain your professional Adult position.

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