FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
About Transactional Analysis
Below you will find the answers to the frequently asked questions about Transactional Analysis.
This is one of the most common complaints in relationships and in the workplace, and TA provides a clear explanation rooted in the Crossed Transaction and the Child Ego State.
The TA Diagnosis: The Crossed Transaction
The feeling of being unheard occurs when you send an Adult-to-Adult message but receive an unexpected (and often critical) response. The communication is "crossed" and stops, leaving you feeling invalidated.
| Step | Description | TA Status |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Your Stimulus (Request/Fact) | "I need more time for this project." | Adult ⇒ Adult |
| 2. The Response (Judgment/Dismissal) | "You're always the one who causes delays." | Parent ⇒ Child |
| Result | The response is not about the project (fact), but about you (judgment). You feel belittled and your point is ignored. Communication has stopped. | Crossed Transaction |
The Emotional Origin: The Adapted Child
The feeling of abandonment or frustration that arises comes from your Adapted Child (AC). This feeling is an echo of an old Life Script where you learned that your opinions don't matter, or that you are not important (often linked to the Injunctions "Don't Exist" or "Don't Be Important").
The TA Solution: Correction with the Adult
To break the feeling of being unheard, you must redirect the transaction back to the Adult:
- Acknowledge the Shift: Notice that you have been pushed into your Child state (you feel small, angry, or helpless).
- Correct the Transaction: Ask the other person to address the facts. Use your Adult to analyze and name the other person's reaction:
- "I hear that you have criticism about my scheduling, but could you address the content of my request? Let's look at the factual time needed."
- This forces the other person (hopefully) to leave their Parent role and return to a Complementary (Adult ⇒ Adult) Transaction, allowing your point to finally be heard.
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